From: Starbucks.com
Subject Line: Starbucks Card rewards are waiting for you
Date: Tuesday, July 1, 2008
From: Amazon.com
Date: Depends on Prime Sign-up Date
Notably difficult to depict are the ephemeral benefits that come with products like gift cards and membership subscriptions. Starbucks does a lovely job with this mail promoting their souped-up Rewards Card. The simple three-column structure, illustrative photography and concise text communicate the new rewards clean and clear. Starbucks' big challenge with email, of course, is tracking effectiveness, as emails drive customers to retail locations rather than trackable URLs.
Speaking of ephemeral benefits, Amazon.com also does a lovely job outlaying the perks of Prime membership here. Have you tried the program? I checked it out and got addicted to ordering stuff like shampoo.
From: west elm
Subject Line: See the chicest new sofa in town
Date: Tuesday, February 5, 2008
User-generated content and product reviews are popping up in email more and more, with reports of success, proving that we do want to hear what people like us have to say about the brands and products we shop. But what to do if you're just not there yet technically, and/or you're a more aspirational/less democratic brand?
west elm has found good ground by including quotes and images of people like us (only perhaps slightly cooler!?) in their emails and catalogs. Alex brings personality and perspective to this mail, no Web 2.0 required. I actually read her quote, spending perhaps 10 seconds more with this message than I otherwise might have.
From: Horchow
Subject Line: Want fewer Horchow e-mails?
Date: Monday, January 14, 2008
This email was brought to my attention by the fabulous Megan Regard. Thanks Megan! I say: snaps to Horchow for giving their recipients more control over the number of messages they receive. I like the idea of sending a dedicated mail totally focused on updating communications preferences, although I'm not sure I'd recommend framing it like this. I feel like the subject line "Want to receive fewer Horchow e-mails?" could potentially plant the idea into subscribers' minds that they receive too many emails, while something like "Customize your email experience!" seems more positive and open-ended, and doesn't potentially make the opt-down (or out!) decision for the recipient.
But that's just my opinion; the proof is in the pudding! It will take months to measure how this mail ultimately effects subscriber behavior, but if anyone from Nieman Marcus would be willing to share the initial results, I'm sure many of us would be grateful to benefit from your learnings.
Thanks and Happy Friday :)!
From: Louis Vuitton
Subject Line: Let Louis Vuitton help you find the perfect gift
Date: Wednesday, December 12, 2007
While the copy is awfully flat (I'd guess the designer, without a writer, "did their best"), this is beautiful creative. Nice and concise.
From: shopbop.com
Subject Line: Busy Girls Need Fabulous Clothes
Date: Friday, December 7, 2007
I like how shopbop contextualizes their product here, diary-style. For the girl who dreams of days floating from one retail location to another, properly-attired...
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: New sale arrivals...
Date: Thursday, November 8, 2007
More than once I've mentioned that J.Crew does a great job writing direct, conversational copy. I guess they'd better, since so many of their emails rely solely on graphical text, like this one. It's your standard sale message, but I like that they say "now's a perfect time to take a five minute break..." They're not saying "shop now for your best selection, quantities are limited", which, after so many years of hearing it, is a phrase I practically find myself repeating in my sleep. Instead, they're directly addressing us as we are: in front of our computers, most likely working, weeding through our email. There's a freshness to thinking about and addressing recipients as they are that I really appreciate.
From: CB2
Subject Line: a.m./p.m. space solutions
Date: Monday, October 1, 2007
From: Crate and Barrel
Subject Line: New Fall Home Trends
Date: Monday, October 15, 2007
Thanks to Terri Potter from ScanSource for bringing two Crate and Barrel brand family emails to my attention. With reference to the CB2 campaign, Terri pointed out the synchronicity between the subject line, headline and photography, and I concur: "It's coordinated without being too matchy-matchy." We also agreed that the Crate and Barrel Fall Trends campaign is very attractive. As a Corporate Marketing Copywriter, Terri made an interesting point about the headline: "The copy might be a little too clever – you have to read it out loud, I think, to get the joke. Makes me wonder how many times I’ve "talked through" copy that sounds funny in my head without thinking that this is going to people’s email inbox. Is it even funny on screen? I think this would work if a Tennis Pro Shop was having a fall sale..."
From: Brocade Home
Subject Line: Take A Seat...SALE on Upolstered Chairs...Quantities Limited
Date: Tuesday, September 24, 2007
From: Pottery Barn
Subject Line: Take a Seat + Additional Savings
Date: Monday, October 8, 2007
Hello again! After forever-and-a-day, here I am, Lisa Harmon, back in action. After they rolled into my inbox yet again yesterday, I felt compelled to get back on the blog to write about three overused words: "Take a Seat".
I admit to the fact that I do receive a highly disproportionate number of home furnishings emails. I've also observed that we're in the midst of a custom upholstery craze, which ups the volume of seating-specific messaging. All the same, I'd simply like to call attention to the fact that virtually every one of these emails uses the words "Take a Seat" in the Subject Line, Headline or otherwise. OK, that's not true; it's not every campaign, but I've seen the phrase so many times now that it's become a running joke between myself and one of my colleagues. OK, we get it: it's clever! But not the 20th time!
I'd like to earnestly request that we all put on our copy caps and come up with something new as we start to discount all that leftover custom upholstery.
From: BabyCenter
Subject Line: Welcome to BabyCenter
Date: Thursday, April 19, 2007
BabyCenter is basically the bible to every new mom I know (and it seems like almost everyone I know is a new mom!) They recently underwent a brand refresh, and I am a major fan of their new logo; it reminds me of lollipops.
I signed up for their email program yesterday and received (immediately, for bonus points!) a very well-written welcome message. The copy body highlights the specific benefits of being a member of the BabyCenter community, while managing to make a person-to-person connection. (It's signed Tina Sharkey, Chairman.) The email also includes a number of intelligent links, including my profile, articles and online shopping.
Here are a few ways the campaign could be rendered even more effective, from top to bottom:
1) Above the logo and website navigation, add language similar to the below:
"View here if you're unable to see images in this e-mail.
To ensure receipt of our e-mails, please add babycenter-email@babycenter.com to your address book."
"View here" links to a hosted version of your newsletter, which allows users with disabled images to view graphics.
2) Include "Forward this email to a friend >" in the upper-right.
3) Add alt tags to your images. This will allow users with images disabled to get a sense of what they're missing, inspiring them to enable images or click through.
4) Break up your navigation items into separate graphics rather than a single, image-mapped graphic. Some email browser strip out image map links, preventing users from clicking through!
5) Jazz up the creative a little! Add some color to the "My Profile", "Quick Links" and "Shop" sections. Pair photo thumbnails or icons with each Quick Link. This will help to distinguish and draw attention to the messaging.
6) For your primary calls-to-action, try using HTML buttons as opposed to text links. They'll grab more eyes and generate a higher CTR.
7) There is a slew of "fine print" messaging that needs to be added to the footer below the creative, some of which has legal ramifications. The most important is to include an unsubscribe link, plus your company's postal address so that you are in compliance with CAN-SPAM. Something like the below should work:
If someone sent you this message and you'd like to receive BabyCenter e-mails, subscribe now.
Unsubscribe from BabyCenter e-mails.
Copyright © 2007 BabyCenter LLC | 163 Freelon Street | San Francisco, CA 94107 | View our privacy policy.
I'm feeling more welcome already...
From: CB2
Subject Line: modern dinnerware in bloom
Date: Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I'd like to give CB2 a standing ovation for their work on this campaign. They took a relatively run-of-the-mill product - "verde dinnerware" - and married it to both the season and a holiday (Mother's Day) through photography and copy. As far as effectively using what we have at our creative disposal to form a coherent, visually-appealing, relevant message, this EDM is one of the few to make it into the same league as Apple's legendary February 2006 " In the Ear" campaign. It should inspire all of us to put more forethough and preparation into our email creative. Thank you CB2!
From: CB2
Subject Line: create a cool gift registry
Date: Monday, April 2, 2007
CB2 does a nice job with their gift registry promotion here, infusing levity and delight into what can be a stressful process during a major shift in people's lives. I've heard one too many stories about engaged couples second-guessing their commitments based on flatware disagreements, so CB2's positioning the idea of "fork and knife" as fun is both refreshing and kind (as well as on-brand.)
From: Bergdorf Goodman
Subject Line: CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN: The red sole you love in new spring styles
Date: Thursday, March 29, 2007
I love how Bergdorf included this Louboutin quote: "I always say, 'It's a red color, but it's a green light.'" It's a clever little line, and it infuses the featured shoe with story and meaning.
From: Forth & Towne
Subject Line: Important News about Forth & Towne - Please Read
Date: Monday, March 19, 2007
From: holdeverything
Subject Line: save 20% on your first west elm purchase
Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2006
Some of you may have already heard that Gap Inc. is already shutting down it's fairly-new Forth & Towne brand. Their email notification brings up a good question: how do you handle bad news, like a store (or brand) closing, via email?
First things first: it is important to break the news to customers. You don't want them making pointless trips to your retail locations, only to find them shuttered. But how you break the news is everything. Here, Forth & Towne erred on the side of being a little too, well, sad. This email just feels depressing. It's important, even with negative news, to keep upbeat and highlight a customer's opportunities. For instance, Forth & Towne could have focused more on sale opportunities at local stores, or could have plugged some of their other brands in an attempt to convert shoppers to Banana Republic or Piperlime, like HoldEverything did with west elm in this example from last year. I realize Forth & Towne will probably cover these things over the course of the next couple of months, but at least touching on them in this initial message would have helped soften the blow.
From: Coach.com
Subject Line: Introducing the first fragrance from Coach
Date: Monday, March 5, 2007
A lot of us have been feeling like Coach has turned into a big old logo machine as of late, watering down the product in order to appeal to a broader market. I guess that's one way to grow. And so is launching a fragrance! Reed Krakoff puts it nicely: "I wanted to create a fragrance that embodies the many personalities of Coach women." So are we targeting everyone after all, or only schizos? (I think we might want to reword that quote. Is there a copy editor in the house?)
From: katespade.com
Subject Line: What's The Buzz About...
Date: Thursday, February 1, 2007
I wonder whether "Buy Now" is actually too strong a call-to-action. There's a level of commitment the word "Buy" requires that might not be appropriate until a customer is sitting in front of a fully-detailed product page. I'd recommend "Shop Now" instead, which is very direct and action-oriented, but won't drive away folks who aren't ready to "Buy" quite yet.
"More" is also a safe bet; we always want "more", right?
From: Built by Wendy
Subject Line: Built by Wendy Shoes
Date: Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Well that's straightforward isn't it? I think someone forgot to put their clever cap on over at Built by Wendy...All the same, it's a cute little brand - check them out if you haven't already.
I've appreciated the humor sprinkled throughout Urban Outfitters' email campaigns, but even more I appreciate the LOVE I get each week from fredflare.com. On December 18, they told me "WE LOVE YOU / THX FOR BEING OUR BESTIE:)" which is just about the cutest thing I've ever read in an email. On December 22, they assured me that they're "HERE FOR [ME]!", all smiley with hearts, and on the 29th they thanked me for "an amazing year."
I just think it's so nice and sweet that Fred Flare is mailin' out some love each week. I always open their campaigns - they bring a smile to my face. (I'm sure they must be getting some love back in return from their customers!) This seems like such a nice way to drive sales. Maybe we could all try to inject some love into our campaigns this year. Thanks Fred Flare!
From: fredflare.com
Subject Line: fredflare.com's $9.95 3-DAY ENDS TODAY!!!!!!
Date: Monday, December 18, 2006
From: fredflare.com
Subject Line: fredflare.com is HERE FOR YA!
Date: Friday, December 22, 2006
From: fredflare.com
Subject Line: fredflare.com's FREE SHIPPING ENDS SUN:)
Date: Friday, December 29, 2006
From: Neiman Marcus
Subject Line: Fabulous stationery + test your thank-you writing know-how
Date: Monday, January 1, 2007
I really like this message from Neiman Marcus. It's timely: we all have thank-you notes to write, don't we? It's engaging: we all want to know the "right" time to send those notes, don't we? It's brief: I think they featured the right amount of content. This isn't a hugely long email newsletter about thank-you note writing that we don't have time to read. It's an easy-to-digest quiz question that clearly prompts us to click through for satisfaction. (I did!)
One recommendation for improvement: use a clearer headline. "In a word" is cute, but basically meaningless and easy to gloss over. Instead, feature "How soon should you send a thank-you note?" in the large pink type. I guarantee it will improve click-through.
From: Restoration Hardware
Subject Line: Give the Perfect Last Minute Gift – Shop Gift Certificates
Date: Thursday, December 14, 2006
This is a brilliant piece of copy: "Give the Gift that's Never Re-Gifted". That should have been the subject line of this campaign, too. So many retailers are pushing gift cards this season, and this is the first promotion that's really turned my head. Lackluster creative, but very compelling copy.
From: Lacoste
Subject Line: Happy Holidays to Lacoste's Friends and Family
Date: Monday, December 4, 2006
It's snowing gators! Look out!
This holiday season, I've received a flurry of "Friends & Family" special offers like this one, all from retailers that are not my family nor my friend. While I understand the desire to make customers feel special and deals seem exclusive, it doesn't make sense to claim an intimate connection with a subscriber who's never made a purchase before.
That won't stop me from using the discount though. Keep 'em coming.
From: The Land of Nod
Subject Line: Free shipping on orders over $150!
Date: Wednesday, November 22, 2006
This is cute! I didn't know Rudolph could type. Maybe I could get my cats to write my emails, and just Cc: me.
Rudolph was sneaky, though: The Land of Nod is a home furnishings business promoting free shipping on everything but home furnishings. (See the asterisked disclaimer.) It's "just not right" to give us global free shipping and then take it away, even when it's couched in cute language. Bad Land of Nod!
From: fredflare.com
Subject Line: fredflare.com's BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Friday, November 17, 2006
I have no idea what's going on here, but it's hillarious and awesome!
Maybe it's just because they've got me personally figured out, but I find J.Crew's EDM copy absolutely convincing. Their sale messaging always conveys a sense of urgency, and even their September 26th Fall Collection message - which reminds customers to shop now before full-priced items sell out - drove me to click-through and purchase. Either they've got a great copywriting strategy, or I'm justa sucka. Maybe it's a bit of both. Whatever the case, this type of copy-reliant message has obviously been successful for them: they keep doing it, and I keep clicking...
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: New items added to our Final Sale
Date: Tuesday, August 31, 2006
From: jcrew@ click.jcrew.com
Subject Line: A little reminder from J.Crew
Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: An exclusive invite to a special sale
Date: Wednesday, October 11, 2006
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: Run, don't walk...it's our fall sale
Date: Tuesday, November 9, 2006
From: info@mercedes-benz.com
Subject Line: Mercedes-Benz brand world - your registration
Date: Monday, July 10, 2006
First impressions are critical. The content and quality of your welcome message will influence a subscriber's behavior forever, determining whether or not he or she will continue to open - or even subscribe to - your campaigns.
I was disappointed by the Mercedes-Benz Brand World welcome message, which was not only dry but also, for reasons I cannot pinpoint exactly, feels very "English as a Second Language." Even the subject line - "Mercedes-Benz brand world - your registration" - is flat, sounding more like a rote operational message than a gracious welcome.
This message does nothing to service the website behind it, which is actually quite lovely. Click here to check it out.
From: UrbanOutfitters.com
Subject Line: Take an Extra 25% off. This time, we mean it.
Date: Thursday, June 22, 2006
This is awesome. Apparently there was a problem with Urban Outfitters' June 19th Sale campaign, and the message pictured here is a little apology for the flub. Being someone involved with and serious about EDM campaigns, seeing something as ridiculous as this - something flush with the humor of a human being, something admittedly imperfect - is so totally refreshing. It feels so authentic and vulnerable. I want to buy something, if not only to console the kittens.
From: The Land of Nod
Subject Line: Introducing Furniture Color Previews
Date: Thursday, June 15, 2006
The dynamic color swap is a great innovation in ecommerce, and I applaud Land of Nod for implementing a Furniture Preview Tool. Also, although it's a little jerky, they make great use of the rotating GIF here to illustrate this new functionality. However, this email suffers from a Land-of-Nod-centric perspective. Rather than touting their own amazing functionality, the copy should focus on how this functionality serves the customer. The text should highlight how easy and fun the customer's furniture shopping experience will be, not how impressed they'll be with the Land of Nod. Remember who you're selling to!
To view the animation, click here.
From: Pottery Barn
Subject Line: Fresh Basics for the Summer Bed
Date: Friday, April 28, 2006
This is a well-merchandized, well-laid out campaign. The number and quality of products shown appeal to a broad audience looking to stock up on basic bedding. Rather than clarifying this message, however, the copy confuses it. What is a "SUMMER BED"? And while the allusion to a "balanced breakfast" is cute, do we really "start every day" with bedding, or do we actually "end every day" with it?
Unless you've got a creative hook that makes really sense and adds to the overall message, it's best to stick with straightforward copy: a clear, direct message and call-to-action. In this case, I believe a general "stock up on our favorite basics, plus add personalization" direction would be more relevant, and would engage more shoppers.
From: PUMA
Subject Line: Grow into something new
Date: Tuesday, April 18, 2006
On the web, the focus on design often eclipses the importance of copy. Here, we see what happens when copy is not treated with the respect it deserves. The subject line, subhead and call-to-action - all of it - sounds "off", doesn't it? Like it was written by someone with a limited understanding of the English language? "Click here to discover what is budding." Heh.
Because we need to be concise with our online copy, the few words that we do present become all the more critical. I highly recommend the book "Net Words: Creating High-Impact Online Copy" by Nick Usborne for online copywriters, creative directors and ecommerce managers - anyone directly or indirectly involved with internet copy. The book not only provides useful suggestions for writing effective copy for the web, but also shows us why copy for web is important so that we don't shortchange this critical piece of the whole.
From: Pottery Barn
Subject Line: The newest additions to our Chesapeake Collection are here.
Date: Monday, April 17, 2006
Here, Pottery Barn does a really nice job of addressing and engaging a specific audience: active shoppers. Building upon the introductory Outdoor Furniture message they sent on April 3, they speak directly to customers who already own a piece, offering new styles and colors. Showing the cushion swatches is particularly effective: it engages the customer in a design consideration, taking them one step closer to product purchase.
From: Crate and Barrel
Subject Line: Ship unlimited furniture from just $69
Date: Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Love the clean, straightforward creative execution here, however, the copy could be somewhat misleading: "starting at just $69" refers only to the shipping price, not the actual product price. While the number 69 might compel click-through, I wouldn't be surprised if this campaign sparked very few conversions with actual pricetags over $1,000.
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: Shop our final sale
Date: Thursday, March 2, 2006
Love the color and the simple execution. Not sure about the word choice. According to Merriam-Webster, INDULGE implies "excessive compliance and weakness in gratifying another's or one's own desires," as well as "inordinate gratification of desire for luxury and comfort with consequent enervating effect." Does that sound like a good thing to you? Hmm...
From: The Land of Nod
Subject Line: Calling all piggy toes. Calling all piggy toes.
Date: Tuesday, March 7, 2006
This email was brought to my attention by a colleague. Thank you!
The Land of Nod always seems to walk the razor's edge as far as copy goes. While employing the current energy crisis to drive rug sales is brilliant, "piggy toes" is just annoying. I agree with my colleague concerning the rug photography here. Notably difficult to depict online, The Land of Nod has done a wonderful job here showcasing their rugs. Nice work.
On another note, I'd like to make a general observation concerning Tuesdays: I'm not sure they're the best day to launch email campaigns anymore. While I received only 3 EDMs on Monday, I received 13 Tuesday, and, even as a self-described EDM Freak, did not get through all of them. How much more would this be true for the average consumer? Hmm... are Wednesdays the new Tuesday? Let me know what you think.
From: CB2
Subject Line: Now serving great prices on cool barware.
Date: Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Here, CB2 uses a novel dot-whack device to list product prices. It's cute; it works with their logo and their modern aesthetic.
Speaking of modern, a question about the copy: "bottoms up to affordable modern" what? Modern what!?
From: dELiA*s
Subject Line: Save $10! Swim Sale online only
Date: Saturday, February 18, 2006
From: gap.com
Subject Line: Find Your Perfect Swimsuit
Date: Monday, February 20, 2006
We've got yet another campaign "double" today - dELiA*s and gap.com sent out strikingly similar swimwear messages. Check out that photography! Those layouts! Kind of creepy.
The obvious opening comment is "ouch!" - gap.com's HTML broke in my email browser, thereby breaking the illusion of their overall message. This is the worst browser break I've seen in a long time. How embarassing!
If we can "see beyond the break", however, gap.com's execution is more successful because the message is deeper and more focused. It's all about the swimfinder and it's many uses; just by reading the links we start to think about finding our suit and are compelled to click through. In the case dELiA*s, even though we've got a sale and a free shipping offer, the triple-combo of sale, free ship and mix & match swimwear dilutes any one message and does not pull us into the process the same way gap.com does. Plus, after all, "buy 2, save $10!" isn't really that great of a deal.
From: BananaRepublic.com
Subject Line: Our favorite espadrille has arrived
Date: Thursday, February 16, 2006
From: J.Crew
Subject Line: Editor's pick: the Fulham shoe
Date: Thursday, February 16, 2006
Both J.Crew and Banana Republic presented single-shoe-family messages yesterday, which makes for a great side-by-side comparison.
Banana Republic has been going a little overboard with multi-messages, submessages and "Free Shipping" promos lately, so it's refreshing to see them doing something simple; something closer to J.Crew's usual MO, actually. While the executions are somewhat different, these messages are comprised of remarkably similar components: a "collection" hero image, a basic romance copy block, and a direct call-to-action. So which wins my click-through? While I personally find espadrilles remarkably ugly, the Banana Republic message convinces us with smart copy that "If you only allow yourself one shoe this season, make it this espadrille," positioning it as a "must-have" rather than a nice-to-have "editor's pick" like the J.Crew Fulham shoe. So I guess we'd purchase the Fulham only if we were buying two pairs of shoes this season.
On an unrelated note: the espadrille hero image is several pixels thinner than the copy block above it and the menu bar below it, making an otherwise clean email look sloppy. Count those pixels, kids!
From: Bliss Beaut-e-mail
Subject Line: winning news from bliss
Date: Friday, February 10, 2006
While I love Bliss products, I sometimes don't love their brand tone. "I-can-have-it-all" sassiness can look too much like "I-can-have-it-all" bitchiness, as is the case with this smirky gal "who's been two-timing." To send something like this so close to Valentine's Day comes off as, well, bitchy.
From: Barneys New York
Subject Line: Love it!
Date: Friday, February 3, 2006
Barney's put together a fun, simple suite of EDMs for Valentine's Day; they've used this same format for a series of messages featuring this season's gift picks. The creative is pretty cute, although it doesn't include a single call-to-action... but I just love the concept of "Love it!" as a Subject Line and Headline because we're always saying "Love it!" around here, about everything. It's sunny out. "Love it!" It's lunchtime. "Love it!" It's a $1,200 Mini Croisiere handbag. "Love it!"
|
